holyshitwhat:

danabdul:

Have u ever met the human version of a headache

I’ve met myself

(Source: danaziz)

ekuns:

while i was in cracker barrel i heard a lady tell her kid not to touch any of their biscuits until they got home and the kid just went “not even god could keep me from eating these biscuits” and took one out of the container and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth

averagefairy:

notlostonanadventure:

averagefairy:

cleaning with a mr clean magic eraser is such a sensual experience like the mess just goes away it’s so easy…… i just cleaned the fridge and i was turned on the whole time. mr clean owns my ass

This is the weirdest viral marketing campaign ever

ITS NOT SPONSORED IM JUST A FREAK FOR QUALITY CLEANING SUPPLIES

unclefather:

i just heard my mom say “there’s no reason to act like a dick” and there’s no one else downstairs so i know she’s talking to one of our cats

facts-about-bisexuality:

Fact: Some bisexual people are more attracted to one gender than others. Some have preferences that shift over time. Some have a “type” and some have different types for different genders. All are valid ways of being bisexual.

thecommonchick:

when the group chat was lit AF last night, but you went to bed at 9:30

(Source: thecommonchick.com)